gotwalt

Ok, a real post is coming soon…

gotwalt — Sat, 15 Jul 2006 01:00:29 +0000

In the mean time, look at this picture. I think the child’s name is “Mesopotamia.”

Site Changes

gotwalt — Thu, 25 May 2006 17:43:15 +0000

Yesterday I launched a new version of http://aaron.gotwalt.com. I spend a lot of time finding things for people on the internet, both intentionally and accidentally, and I've re-worked the site to display them as I find them. I add stuff all day, with an emphasis on national and international news, hi-tech, and humor. This blog will probably evolve now from showing those links to actual, meaningful, thought-provoking original content. That, or I'll forget about it entirely, as I did my previous blog. Either way, http://aaron.gotwalt.com will be updated on an hourly-or-so basis with whatever happens to come across my desk.

The Pope is the President of Christianity

gotwalt — Mon, 22 May 2006 16:35:05 +0000

(Found at HolyOffice)

This is intended as a simple "cheat sheet" for those confused and worried about the place of Christianity in America and, to a lesser extent, the contemporary world. It's not intended to be a comprehensive guide, only to help my secular friends as they navigate the confused waters of the world's largest religion.

Premillenialism
This is the belief among some Christians that, ever since Jan. 1, 2000, it has no longer been possible, in the words of the Prince song, "to party like it's 1999." Postmillenialists are those Christians who believe that it will always be possible to do so, while Amillenialists believe that in this context, "1999" cannot be understood literally, but must be read as an allegorical term roughly meaning "a time at which it is especially appropriate to party."

The Emerging Church
This is a term that refers to churches attended exclusively by white people in their 20s and 30s who have at least one tattoo or body piercing. Their distinguishing characteristics are a refreshing, "up to date" interpretation of Christianity, and a reluctance to directly answer questions.

Heaven
Heaven is a term referring to the ultimate destiny of a certain number of souls. Depending on who you listen to, heaven is either: where all of us will end up (Origen); where many of us will end up (St. Gregory of Nyssa); where some of us will end up (John Calvin); where a small portion of us have, in some sense, already ended up (John of Leyden); where precisely 144,000 of us will end up (Charles Taze Russell); or where Jack Chick will end up (Jack Chick). Theologian Belinda Carlisle once posited that "Ooh, baby, heaven is a place on earth," but explorers combing the globe have yet to confirm this.

More @ HolyOffice

Let My People Party

gotwalt — Fri, 19 May 2006 20:04:35 +0000

A romantic comedy 3000 years in the making…

Can I get that with a side of Embezzlement?

gotwalt — Wed, 26 Apr 2006 16:25:53 +0000

With Big Pointy Teeth

gotwalt — Mon, 10 Apr 2006 19:51:24 +0000

Aargh!

Red State Foods

gotwalt — Fri, 31 Mar 2006 03:01:37 +0000

So the end of the world has arrived. "Tastes like your favorite sport". Smoked sausages smoked with Winston(tm) tobacco?

There is no mop/toilet seat fight club. There is no plastic knife fight club. (ad infinitum)

gotwalt — Thu, 30 Mar 2006 20:03:26 +0000

Oh, wait. There is. This is why the west is losing the war on terrorism. By the west, I mean California. By terrorism, I mean "nerdiness".

All Hail Fearless Leader

gotwalt — Thu, 23 Mar 2006 15:13:12 +0000

When producing propaganda songs for whoever you’ve helped fraudulently obtain victory in an eastern European country, try to avoid lines that sound like they might be directed towards Lenin, Chairman Mao, or Mussollini.

On second thought, ignore that rule. In fact, when you’re performing live, make sure to make hand gestures that evoke images of whoever your fearless leader is. Father will reward you.

Lyrics from a current Belarussian Pop Song:

Well-set and slim
He won’t teach you evil
Father can bridle anyone
Father is stronger than the rest

He will settle conflicts
He is reliable and calm
He just throws a glance – and you see
Who is the master in the house

Chorus:

Na-na-na-na-na-na-na
Listen to Father!
In the morning, day, and night…
Listen to Father!
If you feel bad
Listen to Father!
If you are ok
Listen to Father!!!

Watch the video here.

Original source here.

Found on Randy Newman’s Blog

gotwalt — Fri, 10 Mar 2006 15:46:56 +0000

Excerpt:

When I write songs again, to a greater extent than you might ever believe, it will be for you. I’m glad so many of you seem to like each other and if I’ve been the agency by which some of you have been brought together, that makes me greater than I already am. If the public only knew. Neil Young doesn’t do stuff like that. I have nothing against epileptics but come on. Neil Young once drew 80,000 people in Italy and he doesn’t speak a word of Italian…

Link